When I was an evil young child I once cut the whiskers off the family cat. My mum scolded me and told me that cats use their whiskers to judge whether spaces are too narrow for them and that if the cat ended up stuck somewhere it would be my fault.
I often feel like a cat without whiskers. I think of myself as much thinner and I frequently walk into door frames because I thought I could fit through the gap. In crowds I occasionally barge people out of the way because I forget how big I am. I know I am fat bastard but in my head I am the skinny boy with the stupid haircut from years ago.
I had an idea I was about twenty four stone so when I had my first weigh in I was a little shocked to see the electronic readout dither around twenty six stone before settling on twenty five stone thirteen pounds. I imagined the woman operating the scales singing this in her head.
Slimming World has changed a little since we last attended. As well as Green and Red they now have Orange Days although, as these seem to be a mixture of the Green and Red Days, maybe they should be called Brown Days. The idea is that you have less “Healthy Extras” and have to have a third of your plate covered in “Super Free Foods”.
I have to admit that I don’t get on with all these rules and fancy terms. To me it is easier to say “Have lots of meat or lots of carbohydrates or a small amount of both. Oh, and no fats” but that wouldn’t be the basis of a successful slimming business. Consequently when Debbie and I were planning the weekly menu I went into the sort of mood that is normally only seen when I am required to do some DIY.
As I am totally lacking in imagination when it comes to planning the weekly menu the usual deal is that Debbie decides what we are eating and I cook it however as I know what goes in things I now have to have some input to say what we can and can’t have. It isn’t as easy as I thought. I have accepted that I will have to wave farewell to my beloved butter but olive oil too? Nuts seem to be a bit of a no-no too.
I seem to have blocked what we ate for the first week from my memory as I did not enjoy it. On the plus side, at the weigh in I had lost eleven. I tell myself that loss is always high in the first week but I am still quite pleased about it.